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The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

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Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

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You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

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Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

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Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

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A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.

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A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

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When I die I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

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You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

If thereÂ’s one thing I know itÂ’s God does love a good joke.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

I hope life isn't a big joke ... because I don't get it.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

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Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

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Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

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Silence is argument carried out by other means.

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Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

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First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

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Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

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A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

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You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

I am not young enough to know everything.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Why don't you write books people can read?

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.

The truth is more important than the facts.

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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

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Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

Humor is also a way of saying something serious.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

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samgaodgpksimrernvln, http://www.vdpovchktt.com vbuyeoyovw

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

053hbovan

http://002evolves.blogspot.com

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep it that way.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

Hello.
hukilxxxru
And Bye.

Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

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When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

Your website is very the most informative. I liked your website a lot. Thank you.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

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If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

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Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Very nice site! is it yours too

Very nice site! [url=http://apxoiey.com/aoxsx/2.html]is it yours too[/url]

Very nice site! is it yours too http://apxoiey.com/aoxsx/4.html

Very nice site!

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Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

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Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels !

They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist--

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

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Aloha!

Aloha!

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Hello!

Aloha!

Hello!

Hello!

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

Aloha!

Aloha!

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

Aloha!

Aloha!

Aloha!

Aloha!

Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.

Hello!

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Aloha!

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Aloha!

Hello!

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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Hello!

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Aloha!

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

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Aloha!

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Aloha!

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No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

Hello!

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Aloha!

Aloha!

Hello!

Hello!

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Hello!

Aloha!

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Aloha!

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

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Aloha!

Aloha!

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Aloha!

Hello!

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.

Hello!

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

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Hello!

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Aloha!

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Hello!

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Hello!

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

Aloha!

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Aloha!

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

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Aloha!

Hello!

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

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Aloha!

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Aloha!

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

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Aloha!

Why don't you write books people can read?

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Aloha!

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

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Aloha!

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

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Aloha!

Aloha!

Hello!

I second albertacowpoke's question...

I hate guns If no guns of everyone,the world maybe well.

Think they would read the BILL if they had to live by it?

Well, it should be...

Yep what.s good for the goose is good for the gander. Great idea.

Notice that the Chinese know how to do a stimulus package, while no one in power seems to know how to do a stimulus package here in the US.

Thanks for sharing. His music will continue to rock!

Hello!

Hello!

Hello!

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Aloha!

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

Hello!

Aloha!

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Hello!

Hello!

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

Hello!

Hello!

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

Aloha!

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

Aloha!

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Aloha!

Hello!

Hello!

Aloha!

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

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Aloha!

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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

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Aloha!

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Hello!

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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Aloha!

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Aloha!

Aloha!

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Aloha!

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Aloha!

Aloha!

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Aloha!

Hello!

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Aloha!

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

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It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

.,

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

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A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

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It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

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Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

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Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

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Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

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A hen is only an eggÂ’s way of making another egg.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.

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The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.

Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

only proves that I could sleep through nuclear winter if you

If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.

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Hi there, what's up you guys???

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If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

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Hi there, what's up you guys???

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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

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In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

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Aloha!