September 30, 2008
*pants heavily*
Okay, so supposedly the latest controversy surrounding Kim Kardashian (star of "Keeping with the Kardashians" and "Dancing With The Stars", both of which are apparently riveting dramas marketed to people who are still amazed by fire) is that a lot of people don't think that she can fit all of that junk into the size-2 trunk that she so proudly rocks. I don't know how I came to know this, but rest assured that I'm going to shoot myself if I'm exposed to any more of it.
Potential suicide aside, I absolutely don't mean to qualify her as anything more than something that I would happily pound the dickens out of and maybe buy her a sandwich from 7-11 afterward, but watching her hop up and down in this video to try and cram all that Armenian ass into dem jeans made me need a cold shower and a cigarette.
I worry that the next time I shoot a load, it's going to blow a hole through my hand and into the shower tile like a gunshot from a John Woo movie shootout. Maybe I can slide down a banister while spunking and turn it into a cinematic experience.
Posted by Jake at September 30, 2008 09:07 AM
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