June 11, 2006
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the judicial waters of the United States, another dumbass lawsuit pops up.
This time, a robber is suing a couple of parts store clerks (and the store), after he burst in with a semiautomatic pistol and demanded money, got bashed with a pipe, AND had the gun taken away from him and put right back in his face.
Now he's claiming "emotional distress". In case he didn't catch it the first time, let me spell it out for him.
DUDE, YOU FUCKING TRIED TO ROB THEM.
You rolled up to the spot with a pistol, brandished it, started some shit, and they finished it. So instead of realizing that you're a colossal dumbass who can't even commit robbery without screwing it up and getting your ass handed to you and just letting it go, you get the amazingly moronic idea to pull the victim card and act like you're the one who's being wronged.
If anybody's emotionally distressed, it's going to be the people who try to figure out just how in the hell you thought that filing a lawsuit would be a good idea. Frankly, I can't understand what possessed your lawyers and your local court system to treat this case with a shred of credibility. I hope they take you to the cleaners, suck your bank account dry, and then drop the case, leaving you to pontificate over just what the hell you were thinking when you decided to take it to the courts while Bubba from the Aryan Nation prepares to give you some good ol' prison-love.
And you'd better find a towel to bite down on, because it looks like he plans on going in dry.
Posted by Jake at June 11, 2006 10:06 PM
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