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June 07, 2006

OH NO THE GAY IS RUNNING RAMPANT

So the anti-gay marriage amendment failed.

What a surprise.

Instead of concentrating on real issues like fuel prices, the economy, and the Iraq war, the politicians decide to invade peoples' private lives and dictate who should love who. Because that's all our country needs is a couple of fags placing rings on each other's fingers and committing theirselves to a lifelong relationship filled with happiness. And that's obviously the most important issue, because being gay is bad! Why is it bad? Because...uh...men fucking men is gross? But it's okay when women do it, because meathead motherfuckers think it's hot. They'll secretly jerk off to girl-on-girl action, but once one of those bitches removes her fingers from the other chick's box and starts talking about forever, commitment, and all that other liberal weenie horseshit, John-boy can't get a boner any more.

Plus, as the homophobes have dictated time and time again, the sight of men marrying men and women marrying women will inevitably cause our sons and daughters to become flaming fags and combat boot-wearing dykes with an insatiable taste for the genitalia of members of their own gender. Then little kids will start being preyed upon by perfectly normal gay couples in healthy relationships! What are the fag-bashers to do?!?!?!

I've got an idea.

They should shut up.

There's nothing more disgusting than hearing the rampant anti-gay propaganda that is tossed around between these subhuman fucks. They talk about how immoral it is, yet being on wife #5 is perfectly okay, because one of them has "Tab A" and the other has "Slot B". After bandying about tons of misconceptions about gay lifestyles, relationships, and sex, they just all sit back, pop another Budweiser, turn their wandering eye away from the livestock, and all grunt in unison that man-sex is bad. What they don't realize is that ignoring it is actually easier than making a big deal of it. They don't understand that love is love, and all the laws in the world can't change it. They don't understand that not all gay men are Madonna-loving flamers, and not all lesbians are buzz-cut militant dykes. Then when anyone dares to call them on it, they simply resort to verbal abuse or violence. That's the standard response, and it sucks.

I mean, I can totally understand just how frustrating it can be for someone not to understand your baseless intense hatred of someone else's lifestyle which completely doesn't affect you at all despite the fact that you willfully allow yourself to get irate over it, but that doesn't make it right.

And when the gay-bashers are called on it, they usually make the point that "WELL I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT IN MY FRONT YARD/ON THE SIDEWALK/IN THE TRUCK STOP RESTROOM THAT I NORMALLY BLOW TRUCKERS IN", which leads one to believe that they think that once gay marriage is allowed, the streets will be packed to the gills with a writhing, sweating, flesh-colored orgy of man-on-man and woman-on-woman sex. It's misconceptions such as that as well as the idea that homosexuality is nothing more than a glorified fetish that is entirely curable that the homophobes use to make their bigoted arguments. It's hardly fair, and it makes absolutely no sense, but a majority of homo-love detractors aren't well-known for rationale in the first place. For fuck's sakes, these are the kinds of people who pay for books written by Ann Coulter.

So when your redneck neighbor takes his dick out of his mistress long enough to rant and rave about "the faggots and the liberals winning another battle", gently remind him that having an opposing viewpoint doesn't always ensure that you're on the right side, and that he needs a better-looking shade of t-shirt to minimize his beer gut.