May 29, 2006
Stickin' it to The Man...Or Not
Cashiers at gas stations are finding themselves in the line of fire, as tempers rise along with gas prices.
Stations across the country report that drivers are taking out their anger by yelling at clerks, and sometimes driving off without paying.
No detailed statistics are kept on incidents of gas rage. But the National Association of Convenience Stores says there's anecdotal evidence that they've increased since prices began climbing in February.
Yeah. This makes sense. Let's get insanely pissed off at some overworked, underpaid gas station clerk who has absolutely nothing to do with the oil companies aside from helping them peddle their product. Because, you know, they're standing there behind the counter making a little over minimum wage, so they're obviously raking in tons of dough alongside the Mobil executives.
You can tell by the exhausted look on their face that right when they step out the door, they're going to set fire to a $100 bill, light a Cuban cigar with it, leap into their brand new Aston Martin and drive home to their palatial estate, whereupon they will inevitably snort coke off the asses of supermodels before they take a nice, luxurious swim in their Olympic-sized, diamond-paved pool filled with Dom Perignon.
What you should really be getting pissed off over is our nation's severe dependency on oil. We're like junkies waiting for our next fix. Instead of scouting for alternatives, politicians increase funding for drilling. Rather than crack down on emissions and put forth some sort of standard for vehicle manufacturers to adhere by, they put Ford/GM cash in their pockets and look the other way.
Car companies are offering discounts on vehicles that are notorious for gas-guzzling, because they're technically easier and cheaper to manufacture than hybrids. And people look at the ads that say "Hey, get $3000 off the Hummer: Urban Warfare Edition with extra fuel-tank capacity for those long drives to the grocery store two blocks away, and a beefed-up suspension with 4 wheel drive so that you can navigate the treacherous paved streets of your suburb with ease! Fuck those faggy hybrids, you need THIS!", and they think "Wow. That's a good deal."
Good deal? Yeah, if you consider dropping $30-40 grand on an overpriced, overpowered monster that will cost you up to $100+ per tank of gas a deal, then yeah. It's a fucking steal. And instead of getting angry with the car dealers/manufacturers for taking advantage of you being a mindless consumer (i.e. sticking it in with no lube, breaking it off, and then stealing your wallet and your first born), you decide to take out your smoldering, impotent rage on someone who would more than likely rather be hammering nails into their reproductive organs than working where they do.
How clever.
In conclusion, if you're not walking, taking public transit, using an alternative fuel vehicle, or carpooling, please shut the fuck up, get your oil fix, and let the clerks do their job undisturbed. Thanks.
Posted by Jake at May 29, 2006 02:46 PM
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